BEATRIZ: Now that I am left alone
and since my own imagination
is uncertain association,
I'll soliloquize on my own:
Why can't I be consoled?
Under what star was I born?
My squire has been my honor,
a sun to brighten the day;
the eclipse it has sustained
is mine to suffer in form.
Caught between light and flame,
in an orbit of confusion
and planetary disunion,
Leonor's lie stakes its claim.
LEONOR: What do you want?
BEATRIZ: Your name
I spoke in error while alone.
I had no wish to convoke
or upon your person to call,
but rather my worry forestall
in naming you to my soul.
LEONOR: Tell me why you're nasty to me
even when talking to yourself.
BEATRIZ: Since you interrogate me, --well--
it's castigation for your deceit.
Weren't you, --as Love could see--
the party written?
LEONOR: I was.
BEATRIZ: Weren't you the one whose response
to the paternal demand made claim
the document was mine, and the blame?
LEONOR: I was.
BEATRIZ: You're the one who's done
all she could to validate the lie.
to over-embellish reality,
to inundate and dilute my purity?
LEONOR: I was, Beatriz.
BEATRIZ: Then why shouldn't I
lament your deception?
LEONOR: Just try
to understand what you have done.
It never, never would have come
to this if you had tried to help.
But the harm has been done. Well,
Beatriz, at first it was for fun...
I won't deny, now that we're alone,
that the fault was indeed all mine,
neither will I confess my mind
to anyone else. I love, I dote,
I adore, I'm dying of love I know.
DON PEDRO enters from behind DOÑA BEATRIZ, where he is seen by
DOÑA LEONOR. LEONOR pretends not to see him and he hides where he can hear and
not be seen
LEONOR: (Good Heavens! That's my father!)
PEDRO: (I'm dying of love" is what I heard.)
LEONOR: (May I get help from the Lord above
to cure that mistake.) "I love!"
How do you dare to use that word
in front of me? "I adore!"
PEDRO: (How could this be?)
LEONOR: "I dote!"
PEDRO: (Just who it is I'll get to know.)
LEONOR: "I'm dying of love!" What more
will I have to bear? What for?
My father will have to hear
what you've been saying here:
What you've confessed to me alone.
I'll soon see that he is told.
BEATRIZ: What's that?
LEONOR: Don't come near!
"Approach me not!"
BEATRIZ: I'm troubled
Leonor, by the magnitude of your quirks.
LEONOR: "My shining purity you'll besmirch!"
BEATRIZ: What change....?
LEONOR: The insult is doubled
your tongue makes it vocal.
PEDRO: (Leonor is the one who is virtuous!)
BEATRIZ: Dear sister, I...
LEONOR: Isn't this curious?
Now I'll not listen to you it seems.
Never! "It isn't possible, I ween
for a sister of mine to be so libidinous."
LEONOR exits. DON PEDRO enters
BEATRIZ: Who ever saw such extremes?
Who ever felt these feelings?
Who would believe such faking?
She changed so fast, it seems.
PEDRO: I... I saw you here, Beatriz.
It seems my worry was not in vain.
What Leonor said made it plain:
I was concerned about you two.
It's clear I was correct about you
Leonor is right to feel ashamed.
BEATRIZ: All this time, you were here?
PEDRO: Yes, Beatriz, I certainly was.
BEATRIZ: And you heard what Leonor said?
PEDRO: Indeed I was able to hear.
BEATRIZ: You're disillusioned, I fear,
by what you overheard.
PEDRO: Even though it may seem absurd,
your sister was clearly outraged
by your deeds.
BEATRIZ: (I was upstaged!)
Hapless me! My star's adverse!
PEDRO: Why hapless? Is it that bad?
BEATRIZ: Sir...
PEDRO: Beatriz, that's enough!
No more of that affected stuff!
Enough, enough of what we've had!
Your language will drive me mad.
It's already cost your reputation.
No one understands your situation.
Because you refuse to speak
plainly, you are forced to lead
a life of poor communication.
I know what has you disturbed,
I know all about the letter,
the rogue who would be your lover,
the rake, whose love you've fostered.
That you love him I just now heard
when Leonor was scolding you.
It may well be my fault, too;
however, I know the remedy:
we'll put an end to the poetry,
as well as to any study you may do.
There'll be no more books here,
no more Latin to be found.
A Book of Prayer I'll be bound,
in simple language... You hear?
You'll learn to cook, to shed a tear,
to sing a song and to sew.
These alone a woman must know.
Leave the rest to a man.
You'll feel the weight of my hand
if you use that language. So no...
BEATRIZ: Having subordinated my will
to yours out of deference,
my previous style of elegance
I'll reject and rephrase, I promise.
Please allow your powers of analysis
to cloak the evident appearance,
the illusion of circumstance
that has brought out your malice.
I'll attempt in spite of injustice
to captivate your benevolence.
PEDRO: Beatriz!
BEATRIZ: Attend propitiously...
PEDRO: You really are making an attempt.
BEATRIZ: For kindred's sake...
PEDRO: Your contempt
has utterly diminished my capacity!
DOÑA BEATRIZ and DON PEDRO leave
Locale : A room in DON ALONSO'S house
DON ALONSO and MOSCATEL enter
ALONSO: That hypocrite Inez said that?
MOSCATEL: Your love greatly offended her.
You'd think she were a saint.
"Tell him," she said, "your master,
I'm too good to be his mistress.
I can't be bought or conquered;
and I wouldn't make a proper wife."
ALONSO: She said that like an actor.
In speaking to the king in a play
the countess of Milán or Amalfi,
--but never the scullery maid,--
could say that. But damn it!
Why not accept her luck today
in being approached by me?
I'm clean and I know how to play.
MOSCATEL: Sir, those who wear clean shirts
should seek clean company as well.
ALONSO: And what did Celia have to say?
MOSCATEL: She was drinking I suspect,
but she came to her window to talk.
She wondered about how you felt
since you hadn't come to see her.
That she never would have said
if she'd been in her right mind,
since she knows good and well
you were there just three days ago.
ALONSO: I'm undone and overwhelmed.
Because I've been too faithful,
each of the women made up her mind:
since I was pleasant when I left,
I belonged to them for life.
Well, things went better with me.
I went to Clara's and had a good time.
She invited me in, and then asked
for twenty yards of lamé.
She said it was to make a dress
that she could wear in my name.
Half in jest, I asked "what color?"
She answered, still playing the game,
that I should choose my favorite,
since her taste and mine were the same.
On that subject, I made up a verse.
As you'll see, it's not too tame.
"Of my favorite color I'd give you a dress,
my love would like to do more,
but I'm so afraid of what you expect,
that to do so would make you a... bore."
And that got me off of the hook.
MOSCATEL: I'm glad you kept your composure.
ALONSO: What do you mean by that?
MOSCATEL: You act completely unconcerned.
It pays, I guess, to think fast.
ALONSO: Do you know what makes me wonder,
almost kills me in fact?
Since men would rather offer,
why do women continue to beg?
MOSCATEL: Because that's the way they are.
(See how easily I managed
to get his mind off Inez.
So-long, jealousy.)
ALONSO: Look here.
MOSCATEL: Yes, sir?
ALONSO: Tell me, Moscatel,
do you want to know the truth?
MOSCATEL: If it doesn't take too long to tell.
ALONSO: Inez really hurt my pride.
MOSCATEL: She's keen, and sharp as well.
ALONSO: I have to get even. Go see her.
MOSCATEL: Me?
ALONSO: Yes, you.
MOSCATEL: (And so farewell!
Jealousy's still here I see.)
ALONSO: Tell her for me...
DON JUAN enters
JUAN: I've been sent
to bring news from heaven:
Lover's aren't always discontent.
The trouble and worry are over.
At last Cupid has smiled on me.
Yesterday, I asked for your help,
and made use of your bravery
to solve a problem of honor.
Things have changed, as you see,
So, Don Alonso, I have come
seeking the help of your courtesy,
your tongue and subtle genius.
I'm still caught between extremes:
worry and joy, and I wish I knew
the proper way to now proceed.
ALONSO: Fine! Tell me what happened.
JUAN: The problems Leonor was having
were solved by blaming Beatriz.
In spite of her care and denying,
their father, unable to decide
which was at fault, and doubting
the integrity of either,
has been spying on everything
they both do. In order to help
maneuver Beatriz by diverting
her attention, Leonor asked
me to convince a friend, to bring
him with me to their house
so he could help by pretending
to love Beatriz who was angry,
and when sisters are fighting...
She says it's important
to convict or divert her
and that diversion must be you.
Leonor will manage her sister
and get you into the house.
You'll be free to woo her,
to spend the night at her window
to talk or to write her a letter,
get servants to deliver notes,
and when she leaves follow after.
ALONSO: Stop there! Go no further!
I can't do that; I haven't the time
to follow or court any woman.
I wouldn't. Not on your life.
Me, stand there out on the street?
Me, spend hours every night
making ardent love to a chamber pot?
Me, give her maids a bribe
to tell her that I love her?
Me, with the guard, pick a fight?
Me, follow a woman wherever she goes
to discover her favorite shrine,
or even if she is religious?
Never, Don Juan, in my whole life
have I paid any attention
to whether a woman was baptized
or not. And that keeps them happy.
It's something they want to hide
so no one will ever know when.
Me, write a letter so wise
that it contained nothing silly,
nothing at all to compromise
my position on love and reason?
Me, spend two hours each night
talking at a window with bars,
trying to reach for the hand
of someone who will only answer
"But that belongs to my husband?"
Someone who guards her virginity,
and insistently maintains that stance
and yet teases me all day long
with her eyes peeking over a fan?
Good God, I'd rather die
than ever pursue a woman.
solicit, flatter, write, or speak,
or attempt to hold her hand.
Unless I am free to visit
a house where I can feel at ease,
sit in a chair on the first visit,
move to a couch on the second, you see,
and on the third to the bed,
making my pillow of a knee
though my mattress be the floor,
having my back scratched properly
whenever and wherever it itches,
I wouldn't offer two figs in a deal
for all the love in the world.
And look at the woman you got for me!
As charming as she is well-bred!
One who only knows how to speak
in strange tongues no man alive
can understand without a key.
See if there's another way,
please, in which I can serve you
because, by God above, I'd rather
fight a dozen men, even two,
than deal with an educated woman.
The woman for me, to tell the truth,
must be faithful, fertile, and free,
somewhat simple, easy, and smooth.
JUAN: But here in Madrid, Don Alonso,
it's really nothing new
for one friend to help another
by making love to lady number two.
ALONSO: It's nothing new in Madrid either,
Don Juan, for a friend to lose
everything he has won in a game
by feeding an extra kitty (¿pussy?) or two.
JUAN: I wouldn't expect you to make her
your bride, only that you pretend.
It's really a great big joke.
ALONSO: Make love to someone I've never met!
Play a trick on some crazy woman,
completely vain and insolent!...
MOSCATEL: (How quickly the opportunity came
to turn things right again!
Everything is going crazy.)
ALONSO: In so far as it's all a pretense,
all right; but if you think
I'll put up with any of her nonsense,
you don't know who you're asking.
JUAN: Nobody's asking you to do that.
ALONSO: Well, I'll begin the performance.
JUAN: We'll go right now, if you can,
to their house and along the way
I'll tell you a few important facts
while we plan your visit.
ALONSO: Let's go, Don Juan; make it fast.
To think of me as the answer,
to your problems, makes me laugh.
MOSCATEL: I hope it all turns out well.
ALONSO: Why shouldn't it, you silly ass?
It's all a big joke, you see,
I'm free to make the attempt
in order to help Don Juan,
backing him in his request,
by playing a trick on Beatriz,
giving Leonor some help
with the vengeance she seeks,
and getting to romp with Inez.
MOSCATEL: (The only thing sure to happen
is that my life will be pure hell.)
DON JUAN, DON ALONSO, and MOSCATEL all exit
Facilitado por Vern G. Williamsen y J T Abraham